twilight in the garden

I am sitting outside in the warm summer darkness, relishing this Adirondack chair wooden smooth against my legs. Joshua Radin is playing on the outdoor stereo, wafting across all the blooming trees and plants. The puckering aftertaste of red wine in my mouth, and the pleasantest fullness from dinner out at red robin. joe and i are delightfully "rutters," always getting our favorite Whiskey River burgers, and never really anything else. It is hard to stray from a beloved favorite when you know if you get anything else, you'll be thinking of those crispy onion bits until you are overly sad you ordered some other sad lame thing.
having time together, after such a busy season, was a gift. I rounded this morning in the Surgical ICU and magically got out at noon. I found out later it got busy after I left, so it was a true and real boon that I walked tired hot feet out of the ICU to my car and sped away home to my dear love before I got sucked in for the whole day. I got to "meet" one of my patients today, someone that I have been taking care of all week, but who was intubated with a breathing tube, and just got it out this morning. Turns out he likes to be called Chuck, and hearing his raspy voice ask me for water was so much more interesting than seeing him quiet and sedated. The unit is full of people who are not people. Most of the time a person is able to pave over it, ride over that pavement with smooth bicycles wheels, but then with an alert bump, I get a patient that speaks and asks questions and the sweet absurbidty of my assumptions comes back to me.
I wrote down recipes in this chair, amazing Portland magazine recipes with grilled zucchini and ricotta, with salmon vinaigrette and kabobs. It made me so happy to think about making the delicious things, that I feel newly inspired to do some house things. Joe cleaned a bunch today, and after I got home I helped a teeny bit, and it had that refreshing feeling of Newness, and rejuvenation. Sometimes cleaning really does feel better: )
The bugs are drawn to my computer now, in the true darkness of the yard. Its off to the house, with recipe book in hand, to channel flip before bed (now temporarily in the basement due to the insane heat) and then on call tomorrow in the ICU. Don't think now, just breathe and sigh and take in this summery darkness.